


Bonfire Hearts

by pawsitivelytao



Category: EXO, EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 03:51:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2908334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pawsitivelytao/pseuds/pawsitivelytao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin is missing, for 37 years, and to the world. And now he finds out wha he missed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonfire Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Made this back then when I just watched Interstellar and I was really touched when Cooper watched the videos from his kids :( It was so sad I teared up..... 
> 
> And this is for my friend, V!! Happy birthday and here is a Kai's fic for you <3 Cheers to our friendship<3 
> 
> Enjoy! And don't forget to leave comment <3
> 
> Love, 
> 
> Pawsitivelytao<3

The sound of fingers smashing keyboard filled the room. The screen blackens for a while, before a set of green numbers and alphabets appear. Not long after, there is a voice reverberating through out the empty room, making Jongin who is sitting on the sofa in front of the computer shakes slightly at the feeling of sound waves bouncing along his exposed skin. He sinks further into his seat.

'There are video messages for 37 years' 

Jongin takes a deep breath, before saying, "Play it TARS" 

There is a beep before the screen changes into a view of a blurred room. 

The camera shakes slightly, making him chuckles. 'Clumsy as ever', he chuckles slowly. He sucks in a breath when a fluffy black hair pops out from the bottom of the screen, its eyes peeks a little from under the long bangs and then the black hair moves backside, away from the screen until Jongin can see half of her body. 

Her mouth is turning up on the edges forming a smile, a smile that Jongin used to wake him up long with promises of chocolate pancakes every morning. A smile that he used to see while cuddling under the blankets before slipping into the dream land every night. The dimples does nothing but adding another shade of beauty at the smile that Jongin never dislikes through out his life. Her eyes are also smiling, but Jongin can notice the tiredness that's evident in her eyes, the usual sparks from her eyes that used to ignite bonfire inside his heart is there, but it feels weaker. And Jongin feels his heart tugs heavily inside his chest at the sight. 

She waves her hand slightly, head tilting to the side, her kind of cuteness. Jongin smiles fondly, and waves back. She seems contemplating for a while and she ducks her head down as if she's embarassed and then she reaches out her right arm and puts her palm against the screen. Jongin laughs slightly before he puts his own palm against the screen in front of him, closing his eyes to really imagine that they're touching each other's right now, as if he can feel her pulse along her now bony fingers. Another thing Jongin is sorry for. 

"Sorry for being cheesy, itsjustimissthefeelingofyourhandiamgoingcrazy" she says in one breath before rectracting her hand away from the screen, making Jongin frowning slightly at the lost contact, even if it's not real. 

She slides back into her seat, Jongin takes a glance at her surroundings. She looks perfectly at home in their kitchen, damp hair, bare face, dressed in one of Jongin's sweatshirt that is hanging low, exposing the necklace around her neck, with a small clock as its pendulum. The one Jongin gave before he set off a journey among stars. 

\--  
'Time will run differently for me and you once I'm in the outer space. When I come back, let's compare it, okay?' Jongin put the necklace at the table, she still had her back to Jongin, refusing to let him go.

Don't make promises that you can't keep, his father's voice ringing loud inside his mind. 

'Come on, I can't leave you like this' Jongin said into her neck as he circled his arms around her waist, securing it. But she managed to wriggle out from his hold. Jongin grimaced.

'Then stay' is all she said. 

Jongin stared at her back, defeated, but still standing firm at his decision. 

"I'll be back, okay?", he said before closing the door behind him.   
\--

Jongin's fingers find their way to the same pendulum hanging around his own neck. It feels cold against his skin now. 

"Jongin, are you okay?" she starts, a little but shakily. 

'It's me who should've asked that' 

"I am okay here, believe me. Are you eating well? You look skinnier in your last video reply to me, or is it just because the space suit. It's been a while since you left. Your brother handles the farm just as good as you now" she sucks a deep breath, "Jongin, where are you now? Have you found a planet safe enough for us? So we can live hapily again....." 

A single drop of tears comes running down to her cheeks, but she wipes it quickly, hoping Jongin doesn't notice it. 

But Jongin does. It tugs his heart harder. 

"Mom came yesterday....." she trails off. Jongin sits up straight at the mention of her mom, his mother-in-law. He found out his mother-in-law doesn't feel so happy about his decision from their last communication, mad at him for leaving her daughter for an unexpectable journey that nobody knows how many years it will be. 

"And she said hi...." She beams. "She didn't look so mad at you anymore. I'm eating well than before and it gets easier day by day" She smiles at him but Jongin can see her eyes avoiding the camera for a few times, jittery. 

"And I made chocolate pancakes today... Your favorite"

Jongin figures it's her way of saying 'come back home and eat it together with me'

"I gotta go. It's late now. See you next time" she waves slightly. 

And the screen goes black. The sound of machine working now is the background sound on the room. Jongin shuts his eyes close, taking deep, slow breaths and trying to stop the tears to spill out. He thought that he's fine, leaving his family behind, leaving her behind but maybe the thought of saving the world is not enough reason for him to be strong. 

There is a long beep sound from the screen again. Jongin looks up and meet her eyes on the screen again. 

She is wearing her work outfit right now, looking a little wrecked after a probably long day at work surrounded by babies and toddler, but still looking professional and trusted. One hand propped out her chin and one hand on the cup (probably filled with milk, she never liked coffee, she can't stand the bitterness). Jongin notices the visible metal band around her fourth finger. Looking clean and shiny under the lights.

\-- 

She tapped her shoes on the cold granite floor, the restaurant is filled with chatter along the sound of metal silverware hitting the plates. People were busy sharing stories over a batch of lasagna or bartering laughs over one of the somelier choice from the champagne rack near the entry. She couldn't seem to sit still at her place, shifting from the left side and the right side of the sofa, checking the watch once every 30 seconds (the door every 15 seconds), flipping the spoon upside down at the table and other things she can think to make herself busy. 

While her seat in front of her still empty since she had arrived at the restaurant 2 hours ago. 

That was the definite reason why she can't seem to stay calm for the last ninety minutes. Yeah, Jongin usually lates but he never came late without a notice beforehand. 

She checked her phone again, the screen still displayed one of her photo with Jongin, taken when they were having a drive-in-theater a few weeks back. They just drove back from the city after watching a ballet shows Jongin wanted to watch before they decided to relax themselves watching movies before going home. The photo is a bit dark, because it's night and it's not really accepted to turn on the lamp inside the car so the only light in from the screen playing the movie outside and the thankfully beautiful starry night above them that night. 

The bell above the restaurant front door jinglesd, annoucing a new customer and it is followed by the formal greeting by one of the waitress waiting near and a series of 'how many people?' and 'smoking or non smoking room?'. She glanced at it, and sighed desperately when what she saw didn't meet her expectations. 

Where the hell is Jongin?!' her mind shouted crazily. 

At first, she was worried something has happened to Jongin but after a few minutes, several calls to Jongin's friends and the hospital between his farm to the restaurant (yes she did that, just in case), nurses answering no to her frantic questions about 'black hair?' 'Tan?' 'Well built body?' 'Has the most beautiful eyes in the world?' And Kyungsoo telling her that Jongin left his car at home and asked Kyungsoo instead to drop him off at the restaurant 3 hours ago. She can't help but be mad. 

She grabbed her purse from the sofa and then stood up. Jongin will get a taste of her rage, she decided. 

Just when she started to walk to the door after straightening her dress, the door jingled once again and then there was a "I have someone waiting for me" being said by a voice that she knows so well. 

She averted her sight to the direction of the door and greeted by the eyes of Jongin. 

As cliched as it seems, the world started to slow down at the moment Jongin locked her gaze with his and he came to her with big steps, eyes never leaving her. She stood still at her place, still angry but can't do anything because Jongin seemed like controlled her. 

As soon as Jongin stood right im front of her, so close that she can feel his warm newly-grinded wheath smelled breath over the slope of her nose, Jongin dropped to one knee, making her startled and stepped a little further. 

Jongin fumbled with something inside his coat pocket and when he seemed like he grabbed whatever it is, his eyes light up in the most brigthest way possible. 

A box.

"You know I'm not good with words so I'm gonna make it quick and on point" He chuckles to himself and then opening the box. 

Silver band. 

"Will you marry me?" 

\--

She drapes one hand on another, fingers slowly carressing the metal band. Eyes never leaving her fingers, "Jongin why haven't you reply my last message?" She sighs, her eyes looking tired more than usual, "Where are you, Jongin, where are you?" 

\---

"Jongin, you know my cousin Joonmyun?" she says brightly one day, almost jumping out of her seat because of excitement. "His wife just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! The name is Kim Jongdae!" she practically squeals right now. Jongin's hand shoots up to touch the screen, carressing the spot where her cheeks are. 

"Kim Jongin! Kim Jong brothers! How beautiful is that sound?!"

'How beautiful it will be to have the name for our own child?' 

She squeals in delight once again when Joonmyun appears from behind, carrying his little bundle of joy sleeping soundly cocooned in his arms. He gestures with annoyed face at her to keep her voice low before looking at the camera and wave excitedly while complaining how 'your wife can't leave my baby alone for a second' which she replies by putting a tongue out to him, her arms circling the baby waist and she moves the baby head a little more near her neck so it settles more comfortably and safer. She coos when the baby wriggles a bit before going back to drool on her shoulder. 

Jongin's heart aches a bit.

'Sorry for not being able to give you something you want the most' 

\--

The loud shrieks and little patters on the carpeted floor could be heard from behind the door, Jongin was a little hesitate at first. 'Don't be afraid Kim Jongin, you are just here to deliver her lunch, there is no way there will be a condition where you meet those kids.' Go out from here alive is the only thing on Jongin's mind right now. Dealing with children were, are, will never his forte. They're monsters, little monsters in his thought. That's true when people said opposites attracts, because now he's into a relationship with a child psychologist, or more likely, seeing by the sight of her who was on her knees wiping the chocolate ice cream off those little kids's mouth, a babysitter. 

Jongin always wonders how good it will be to see her taking care their own child. 

"What are you thinking about?" The sound registered before a light playful smack landed on the back of his head. Jongin playfully replied by acting hurted before the act was turned down by her no-nonsense face from across the table. 

"Can't you have fun a little bit?" Jongin grunted. 

She huffed a bit and then took her lunch box for the bag on the table in front of Jongin. "I think I have enough 'fun' with all the children inside. Thank God they're now watching whatever Disney movies Sehun played for them just now". 

She stared down at her untouched lunch, 'kimbap, last night leftover from dinner, stir-fried beef with kimchi, and Jongin's hardwork on the kitchen earlier, scrambled eggs.', and then stared at Jongin. Eyes pleading. 

"What?" Jongin asked, confused. 

She didn't say anything, just handed the chopsticks at Jongin, and then opened her mouth expectingly. 

Jongin just stared at her with mouth open, finding the moment rare for her to being all clingy. But she whined from her seat and start to kick his shin from under the table, so Jongin quickly calmed her down with putting some of the food inside her mouth. 

"Why are tou so tired today? Someone's absent?" Jongin asked put another slice of kimbap inside her mouth. She chewed for a good 20 seconds, and swallowed it down before nodding. 

"Onew and Luna is absent today, something about event at their kid's school" she gestured for Jongin to give her some of the scrambled eggs before saying again, "I wonder what they do in events like that. I can't wait until we have our own child and let's make sure to go to their events and make them proud. Right, Jongin?" she beams at him, eyes forming cresents because of the wide smile caused by thought. By the thought only. 

Jongin replied with full confidence back then, he was sure they will have their own children, he was sure they will attend whatever event their children has to show them how much they proud of them. 

"Yes. Of course we will" 

\---

The screen goes on showing the message she sent over the years, while Jongin sits still. The images of her over the years flashing in front of him. Her sitting in the front porch of their house, wind slowly blowing making her now long curls bounce against her forehead. Her sleeping on the bed, laying on her side of the bed while the laptop is on 'his' side of the bed. Sometimes she somehow managed to sleep with the camera's still on, Jongin watches her back slowly moving up and down. Her voice registered by his brain but he can't grasp what she is saying in every video. 

'There is no message for 10 years' 

Jongin makes no move. He doesn't know how he is supposed to feel. He should be understanding. He should know. He should not be angry. He should not be mad. 

"Turn it--" 

'There is a message from a year ago, earth's time' TARS's voice cuts him off first. Jongin stuns. 

Just like deja vu, the video starts shakily first, but it's black, like the camera is covered by something, After the latter seems satiesfied with the placing of the camera, she pulls the cover off the lens, showing Jongin the view of his bedroom. From the placement, it looks like it is put on the table across their bed, seeing from how Jongin can see the whole bed. She sits on the edge of the bed, one hand supporting her and the other one is on her lap. 

It's morning. The bright light streaming inside through the space between the opened curtain on the window beside the bed, creating stripes shadows printed on the clean white bed sheets. She is glorius under the morning light, golden dust gathers around her head and hanging around her head like a crown. 

She doesn't say anything, just sit there, staring right into camera, smiling fondly as if she is staring right into Jongin's eyes. As if she knows Jongin will watch this. 

Jongin takes the time to look at her, noticing how her creases on her forehead starting to add throughout the years since the video Jongin watched the first time that day. Her cheeks are a little bit sunken, but still rosy red like Jongin's favourite, making him wants to take those cheeks between his hands. Her eyes are tired, but the sparks are there, making Jongin's heart beats a little faster even after all these years. 

"Jongin...." She starts after a while. 

"The last time I sent you a message and you didn't reply.. I was lost. I was devastated. I was desperate." She takes in a deep breath, "They didn't say anything is wrong, they convinced me, or they convinced themselves, that you're still out there, travelling safely to save the world. They told me to not worry. They told me to calm down. They told me to wait" 

"But they didn't tell me to hope, or to pray." Her voice cracks a little.

Jongin clasps his hand tightly in front of him and closes his eyes. 

"How could I ever believe them when they don't even believe on themselves?" 

Jongin can hear the faint sobs that is escaping from her, 

"And since then, I was afraid to send you messages Jongin... I was afraid that everytime I send you one, I will have to face the fact that you're not answering my messages and all those negative thoughts would run over my head for over and over again...." 

Jongin opens his eyes, welcomed by her smile from across the screen.

"But yesterday, they told me, they told me they found your plane's signal again and I was really really happy the guys in the daycare center should sit me on a chair before I fell down because of being too happy. But can you really faint because of being too happy?" She laughs, her laugh ringing happily into Jongin's ear. 

"I--" 

"Kim? You need to go back to the control room. There is something the team need to discuss" Hwang's voice pipes out from behind him, Jongin pauses the video, before wiping his tear-stained face as clean as he can, eventhough sloppily. He peeks his head from behind the chair to look at Hwang who is now waiting at the door, "I'll be right back there in a minute" 

Hwang nods sloghtly at him, before stepping out and closing the door behind him. 

Jongin sits back on his seat, he presses the play. 

"I-- I love you okay, Kim Jongin? Just come--" she sucks in a breath, trying not to choke by her own tears, "Just come home, okay? That's all I ask Jongin, that's all. We should compare our clock, you promised me" she chuckles in between her breath, her fingers circling the clock pendulum hanging around her neck. 

"Answer me fast okay Jongin? I'll wait " she says again, before leaning closer to turn the camera off. 

'Do you want to send a message?' TARS speaks as Jongin stands to go back to the control room. 

Jongin nods, and there's a beepingg sound ringing through the room before the red light beside the screen flickers on, a signal that he is being recorded right now. 

"I love you too. I'll be back" 

I'll try.


End file.
